A new year

Well, today is the first day of 2011. So much has changed for me since last new year’s day. Eleven has long been my lucky number, but, I’m not feeling a lot of optimism about this new year right now. Perhaps that’s just the result of a severe lack of sleep, the depleting cocktail of chemicals in my bloodstream, and the ravages wraught upon my internal organs. Don’t go too deep when you’re drunk, wornout or ill, is a useful maxim.

But, I’m seeing plenty of reasons to not be cheerful. Chief on my mind is that someone I counted as my best friend doesn’t seem to want to have anything to do with me at the moment, due to an unhappy accident. The blame for that lies at my feet. The saddest thing is, however much I wish it, it seems some things can’t be made right.

Meanwhile, I will see another friend probably tomorrow or the day after and I feel scared about that meeting, in truth. I can’t see them saying the words I want to hear, despite having spent the Christmas holidays deluding myself about the whole thing.

With this on my mind, I am supposed to write something I’ve been putting off and off for too long, which may prove to be beyond the scope of not only my knowledge, but also my ability. I’m certainly not feeling on top form at the moment; a messy life is not a good base for concentration and clear-thinking.

But, who knows how things will unfold? There’s no point in being morose about things which haven’t yet happened. A happy new one to you.



~ by Wit on January 1, 2011.

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